REAL TALK: Is It Time for Single Women to Make the First Move

Aren’t we in the same time period that welcomes independent single mothers and women in high career positions? While the female gender has undergone so many evolutions in society, one would think they would be as aggressive in their dating life as they are in others aspect of their life.

There are aggressive women out there, those that call the shots in dating and can’t be messed with, but they are rare and few. Despite the aggression displayed in other facets, women shy away from being the initiators in dating. So when it comes to asking a woman out on a date, that’s the man’s job.

Why is it that females have no problem setting the woman’s movement back 20 years by waiting for the man to make the first move? Well, if it’s a man’s job now, then is it possible that women will eventually get that “promotion” and become the aggressors themselves?

When it comes to dating, there’s no doubt that making the first move is nerve-wracking, but I’m on the side of men where this issue is concerned. It should be equally a woman’s job to secure a date with a man, or kiss him in the hopes of luring him into more serious bedroom activities, as it is the man’s responsibility to do so.

A lot can be said about a man by the way he approaches a woman. Is he insecure or confident? Maybe he’s a little bit too confident. There are many pick-up methods men use (I’ve seen them all, nothing surprises me anymore), and some work while others fail miserably. Whether the picker-upper succeeds or not is beside the point, what is important is what his pick-up method says about his personality.

Women like to put men up to the challenge of how they’ll go about approaching them, by not making the first move and allowing the man to step up to the plate. If he approaches her in the bar and bores her to tears with his personal sales pitch, convincing her of the 101 reasons why she should be dating him, this shows one unattractive attribute – insecurity.

The man who is rude to her while trying to make conversation, who practically expects her to throw her home phone number at him — not just give it to him — has too much confidence to go around.

On the other hand, the man who sweetly plants a kiss on her lips while on the first date, rather than ask her if he can do this, will probably sweep her off her feet, while the guy who whips out a condom on the first date will probably be practicing the safest form of protection against STDs: abstinence.

If the man passes this test, he is worthy of a date or two, by which point the woman may make the first move the next time around. Which won’t actually be a first move at all.